Monday, April 20, 2015

Natalie April 20, 2015

The Search Goes On

Dearest friends and family,

Bachkauwalik? Haha that means how are you or what's goin on in Maya. I don't even know what the right spelling is but I write it like I hear it. I have discovered that I need to learn Maya! Here in Carrillo everyone speaks Spanish but, I will have the opportunity to, along the way, ask and learn the Mayan language. I am so excited I want to learn it because if I get sent to a place like Valladolid or Tizimin in Yucatan, I will need to somewhat know Maya. The majority of people speak Spanish everywhere but there are some places where it's pure Maya and it's so cool to hear! Who know I would learn a third language much less become fluent in Spanish? All my life I thought I wouldn't be able to learn the language of my family heritage and now I'm beginning Maya lol 

Well what can I say, this week was interesting we had many great lessons and many tender mercies and a few people who are hard-hearted and closed off the hearing the message of the Gospel and it's sad because they don't know, they have no idea that they can be even happier and feel the pure JOY that the Spirit brings. I know that this will happen wherever you go but I never really mentioned much about it until now. But I know, I have learned that the first step in feeling the Spirit and letting it touch our hearts is ''giving space for the seed to be planted and grow''. I once wrote from seminary in my scriptures the words, ''Faith is a choice.'' In my times of struggle I asked myself, how can it be a choice? How can I choose when I just don't feel it or just don't know? And that's the key, I wanted to KNOW and faith is NOT having a perfect knowledge. Often times I have wanted a personal manifestation that God is real, like Joseph Smith had. Who doesn't want that? 

But in the Book of Mormon we learn that if we were given ''signs'' than it would become a perfect knowledge and not faith. We recieve a witness AFTER the trial of our faith, not before. (Ether 12:6) And in the bible we learn that we ''walk by faith not by sight''. So we need to choose to believe first. In that aspect, that is why Faith is a choice. I then remembered that yes, faith is a choice. And we need to choose to believe something is true to then know it is true. And the promise comes, always of course in the time of the Lord. So we keep walking by faith until we recieve that personal ''manifestation'' or witness from the Spirit and in the meantime we give space for the seed to grow. (Alma 32:27-29) 

I will include two really great discourses about this wonderful subject because I love it. Because it's funny, you think you have learned all there is to learn about Faith but it's a battle everyday to stay on the ''strait and narrow'' path. It's so super easy to walk off but I know that we will always need to learn about faith because that is the first principle of the Gospel. It is centered in everything and more importantly, our faith needs to be in Jesus Christ. 

In other short, random news, we are preparing for a baptism this week, yay! and it's super hot here gah! Constantly sweating and our house is super tiny, it's like a studio but all is well and I love you all! 

Sister Newman<3

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